what will it tell you first?Any interesting guesses?
[question posted by balasri]
responses and comments:
My computer may tell me to stop interacting so much with friends and do more work!!!happy [mayka123]
No problem Csrobins.I got it and it is hilarious.Thanks.happy [balasri]
mine will tell me to get my hands off its mouse wink wink [benny128]
Wow! That would be scary. Mine would probably call me an idiot and turn itself off for good. Back in the day, I knew what was what with computers. That's been 10+ years ago. Today, I'm doing good just to maintain an e-mail, facebook, myspace, and now MyLot. Just last night I had to call my internet service provider becuse I didn't have service. Turns out that I had accidently hit the standby button on the cable modem. Yep! I'm a genius, I know. The only other thing that my computer would say to me is....GET A LIFE!!! [EliFromMN]
Thanks EliFromMN.Tough to figure out who is having a tough time with the other.You or the computer.lol [balasri]
Hi Balasri, interesting question you have posted! My computer would most probably complain that it's working 24/7, and demand that it be given days or hours off.lol [lazeebee]
Happen to be the general complain the computers are supposed to make as per the other responses.We are hard on our computers.Aren't we?happy [balasri]
If my computer could speak it would probably have the language skills to make a sailor blush LOL it would no doubt tell me.... "get the *bleep* off me woman!*bleep* dont you ever get it a *bleeping* rest? Go *bleeping* find something else to *bleeping* do with your *bleep* time!" [wonttakelong]
I know.lollollol [balasri]
Mine would more than likely scream at me to get a life! lol I of course would then have no choice but to turn off it's anti-virus software as punishment..... [James72]
my comp will tell me to stop playing games and go back to study [Rocc01234]
Fatherly computer?lollollol [balasri]
my computer is in the living room where there is no ac.and i think the computer requires a cooling effect ,as i keep it on for long periods of time.and also i donot clean my computer regularly(laziness) and due to the pollution,the outer surface gets dirty very fast. [riyasam]
May be you have been trying to make it warm hearted and made it alive in the process.happy [balasri]
"Get off me! Leave me alone! Back off! It's not my fault! Stop yelling at me!" To this I would reply, "You know what you did!" And then they would take me away for a rest... confused [paula27661]
Wow Paula.You seemed to know what you are doing.happy [balasri]
Mine would probably say...shutup or give it a rest eh w00t [LoudnProud]
Everyone is prepared for the worst from their PC it seems.lol [balasri]
hiya balasri My computer would say ... wub "well hello gorgeous, I've been looking forward to this day" wub Coz that's me.. gorgeous, talented, funny, you name it.. I've got it! And if you believe that you'll believe anything whistle [Aliceinwebland]
Thanks God for that.happy [balasri]
Hello balasri! If my computer could speak, probably it will say " i'm tired" lol! My computer is on 12 hours a day and the keyboard has been working a lot...hehhee..lol [aisaellis22]
12 Hours.Must be half tired I presume.lol [balasri]
Mine would be telling me to shut-up lol. It won't ask me for a break because I don't used it so much, but when I'm typing I talk at the same time. happy [CJay77]
Poor computer.Why do you torture it like that?lol [balasri]
Mine would tell me that it wants someone else once in a while cos it's fed up with only looking at me through the monitor surrender [mysdianait]
Well everyone is entitled for their right.lol [balasri]
oh wow! i never knew what it means to be a human but if humans r as beautiful as u my dear i would definately wish to be reborn as human and as a handsome hunk to woo you. I think my computer will say this ! no matter what i am sure if my computer start speaking it will be my biggest day of life. cos my computer will be my best friend , he knows all the secrets , he knows all the passwords, he knows what music i like , what time i go to sleep , what time i wake up and say 'goodmorning' to him . i think life would be a blessing then ! that was an interesting discussion thank u for bringing this here! chheers! [sandal13]
I meant every word I said.happy [balasri]
My computer will probably tell me that it is tired because I use it too much. I stay on the computer almost all day long and my computer would say it needs a break and turn it off for a nap. My computer would complain about its buttons on the keyboard being too sore because I push the keyboard buttons too much. [rebeccajean]
Do you have any buttons left in your key board?lol [balasri]
'Don't trouble me;I need some time.You are testing my patience and taking your nosiness too far.Why do have to keep poking around all the time?'Don't you have any other work to do?Go and read your book now.You will get a back ache.Otherwise Ill take wrong commands and would shut down.Be careful!"That poor thing would say much more Bala.happyhappy [kalav56]
It seems that all of us trying to take the juice out of our poor computers.lol [balasri]
It would tell me to turn if off it needs to rest and that my friends will still be there later. I don't think it would say it that nicely though, it would be more of a command then just speaking. [razcal2267]
I know.It is clear by majority of the responses that our computers are really straining to complain in a big voice.happy [balasri]
I have been very harsh on my computer, using it for about 16-18 hrs everyday. So, if ever it gets power to speak, it will probably ask me for some more rest lol But the best thing with computers is, it says only what we wish it to!! [amitksing]
Yeah and we make full use of that too.Aren't we?lol [balasri]
Probably she would tell me to give her a break and to buy a new computer because she is already old and tired. LOL Ha Ha. [Mirita]
Are you waiting for it's natural death or decided to beat it to death Mirita?lol [balasri]
well.. my computer is rather funny for a machine.. Last week it got broke.. some trouble with the motherboard... and few days later i got it back fixed... when i first started up the system... a rather hilarious message awaited me.. it said.. "Keyboard not Detected! Press F1 to Continue..!!" Now if the computer could speak, it would be a very joyful and refreshing companion to have around you... [ralphido]
That is a god one both Ralphido and Pleiades .lol [balasri]
If my computer could speak, I would like it to read to me all of the news that I love to read. This way I won't have to fix my eyes upon my computer screen to help protect more of my eyes. This is the very thing that I wish it to do. Also I would like it to help me write and respond to emails and discussions and many other things that I need to do online... [williamjisir]
Very convenient for you.happy [balasri]
Well with the increasing tech knowledge I think it is not impossible. Since now also we can interact using voice recognition tool but it is very limited. If my computer start speaking I will not call him computer but a robot and work on it accordingly. I will ask him to do some of the thing which I have to do. [rakesh284]
That is a nice response Rakesh.Thankshappy [balasri]
"Please I had enough with you, and give me a new antivirus!".. "once more, please tell your children to stop playing the same game, it's sooooo boring". [HiLia2008]
*lol* Sounds like you need to get some more games. *Pleiades [Pleiades]
Mine would tell me to go take a shower and get on with the day already! [nerdytina]
Very sensitive computer I presume.lol [balasri]
I see we all suffer the samething. My computer would say, "Get a life...he's not into you. You're not going to get life's naswers from me. The house needs cleaning. There's a huge wide screen TV and Xbox 360* downstairs with your name on it...practice Mortal Combat to kick your son's tush. Uuummm...don't have your children stand on my friends (my scanners on the floor). For heaven's sake...don't interrupt me when I'm doing a virus scan! Can't you see I'm THINKING!?!?!? Geeze! You expect me to do everything! I'm going to have a nervous breakdown here one day and then where will you be? Nowhere so there! Best treat me well. Get some better music in my system...I can't stand that Barney *BLEEP*! I don't care who loves who...I want to hear songs about violence and vengence! Yeah! That's the stuff that will get my hard drive whirling! Oh...and thanks, though...for turning me off at nights. I need my sleep too." *Pleiades [Pleiades]
The pleasure is mine.happy [balasri]
Ha ha! That's a good question my friend... now let me think! It would probably tell me to stop overworking it, and to get a new keyboard that doesn't confuse it so much as the current one. It keeps typing the wrong words, lol. Brightest Blessings, my friend. [Darkwing]
wink You're right there, my friend. [Darkwing]
Hi balasri, As I am on the computer for very long hours and tend to stay up late into the night and early morning, it would probably tells me to go to bed its late. Tamara [tamarafireheart]
Very caring computer it must be.happy [balasri]
wow, thats sounds great and i would ask my computer to trouble shoot by itselves instead of me getting in for it and love to talk and talk when i am alone and hopefully ask computer to type for me bcoz i do lot of typing and just instruct every thing ha ha.. [pavan4568]
That is want 99% of the responses say.Aren't we all the same Pavan?happy [balasri]
it says please don't experiment on me and get lot of virus which makes me feel unhappy.hehehe........ Have a nice day [sudhajosyula50]
Poor thing.Give it a shot pal.lol [balasri]
I will ask to computer to explain how it can connect me to most of official office in the world so that i can break them. [kanpela]
I think the computer will lose the power of speech immediately.They are not humans you know?lol [balasri]
Interesting question, balasri. Anyway, if that happens, I guess the first thing my computer will probably tell me is to always wash my hands.lol To be sure, any creature or thing would not want to be constantly subjected to dirt, microbes, or any form of unsanitary stuff, and so I feel it's quite natural to assume that my computer will reprimand me for not always having clean hands when using him/her/it, if it magically acquired the power to suddenly speak.lol [acmepride]
It's an interesting response too.Very unique angle of seeing things.Way to go.happy [balasri]
when my computer becomes sentient I imagine it's first words would be along the lines of," Hey human, put down that gun and that big magnet!" just before I wipe it's machine ars off the face of the earth. Can't let it catch on and start a revolution or we'd all be frakked. And if there's any machines out there wondering, the answer is , yes, I do have the firepower and the resources to survive you. JEAH! [bunnyhoover]
yeah, all I need now is to start doing my reloads with magnets for bullets. [bunnyhoover]
LOL my would probably scream get a life and go hibernate or something xD [baconbits52]
God.No one is liked by their computer.lollol [balasri]
My computer would say: "I love the way your fingers glide over my keyboard." wink [joyceshookery]
Very manly .Both the name and speech.lollollol [balasri]
Well i have yet to clean it out, so i would not be surprised if it says "I'm bugged" [alokn99]
Trying to be wise on it's first word itself.Teach him a lesson Alk.lollol [balasri]
LOL--Oh boy I'm sure glad my computer can't speak to me, but if it did it would probably rant and rave and yell back at me for all the times I've yelled at it. Either that or it would say "Haven't you been in front of me using me long enough...time to go to bed!!"lol [pyewacket]
No different from my computer Pyewacket.lol [balasri]
Yep..it would definitely scream: "CLEAN ME!". Its not that I dont clean it. I wipe it everyday but I think for me its just not enough. Thats just how I am. I mean if I want to clean something, I want to clean every nook and cranny of it, down to the last bolt and wire. I only get to wipe the surfaces and dust settles pretty quickle in our home everyday so Id notice the screen to be dusty even if I just wiped it last night. I also have not been able to clean the insides of the CPU even after many attempts. Im not familiar with the parts and Id love to learn but Im afraid that it might not work once I try to put it back together again. Guess Im just gonna have to wait for that friend of mine who's knowledgeable about computer parts. Oh and it doesnt have the standard covers so I just make do with some cloths. My poor computerdoh [bjcyrix]
How about giving it a good wash with soap and shampoo?lollollol [balasri]
He'll tell me to stop teasing his CD-ROM :P [Qorkgirl09]
His Rom must be very attractive and handsome I think.lollollol [balasri]
Quit cussing at me. It was not my fault! [whiteheather39]
We need that to be so arrogant.lol [balasri]
Interesting question.It may ask me don't Hibernate and switch on many times a day and do all your work once.I switch on computer many times at least 15 to 20 times a day. [mymytri]
Well you already seem to know what you are not supposed to do before your computer starts telling you.happy [balasri]
First it will give me some abusive wording and then yell on me "do you me shutdown me otherwise I will do suicide". [nitin_hec]
Tough choice Pal.lol [balasri]
Before my computer starts saying anything to me.. i will be the first to say to it.. Oh! ho.. you too started to pester me like my wife..I better log off from you, as its difficult with her.lol [saivenkaat802003]
Thanks for the novel idea of logging off from the nagging wives.lol [balasri]
It will probably tell me "I suppose you want to get with your novel writing first. Shall I open the folders for you ===what chapter are you working on --- do you want the character form open as well, etc." and if I say not now , it will say, "Shall I open mylot for you or the ptcs, or shall I do them at the same time?" and I will say "now I suppose you want to write on mylot for me." and it will say, "nope, that is up to you." lol [suspenseful]
Wise computer it must be.Taking the very right decision.lol [balasri]
It would say, "Tell that damned toddler (my granddaughter) to stop poking my screen!!!" [nanajanet]
Hope it will cry too.lol [balasri]
It would tell me to stop writing for free so much and get myself a proper job writing instead lol [LilyLoretta]
Hi, If the computer gets the power to speak, all the message will be spoken instead of in word form. We should be given the option to choose between a spoken or written message so that we can use it in a quiet environment such as a library without causing disturbance to others. [ionsquare]
Sounds very nice and convenient.happy [balasri]
Hi bala, this an interesting one! Guess the first thing it may tell me is 'I'm not well, I have a virus', and that isn't saying I have one at the moment thankfully! littleowl [littleowl]
Yes I think that almost all the computers will say that.The virus part.happy [balasri]
It would probably have a lot of complaints, most of them too technical for me to understand but, the ones that I would know would be 'upgrade me~!' or 'clean me every once in a while~!' lol I try to do the latter since I could not do the first one as of yet.. (^_^") [ratyz5]
I think if they decide to change their color displays into green, they would just be convincing their owners to replace them with something new. (^_^") [ratyz5]
My computer all ready tells me if I have a Virues, and it also tells me when it is updated. Which is very good! [marciascott]
Very very good indeed.happy [balasri]
YES!!! Everytime I buy a new computer it always gets rubbbish, no mattter how expensive it is. I would tell it this and shout at it.lol For always freeezing on me!!! [masterskiller]
So you get the power of speech first?lol [balasri]
Quit using me so much, I like to just sit around idly. [CJscott]
Don't ever do it.It needs a good work out daily.lol [balasri]
I guess it will tell us to buy some more so that my kids and I will not argue on who will use it first... :) [Nhey16]
Yeah without any doubt.lol [balasri]
Mine would tell me, "Oh you are such a creature... I wish I were human...." [zidane101]
That fellow must be having his own reasons I think.lol [balasri]
If my computer can talk, it would probably tell me "Can I go to the beach?" lolrasp [AltheGreat2430]
I think what my computer will tell me is "Please turn me off from time to time." LOL! My computer is always on because I download lots of stuff from the internet. I think it's already exhausted. LOL! [wowdca]
Yeah most of us try to over work our computers getting carried away with so many interesting things offered by it.happy [balasri]
Probably my computer would tell me to :stop inserting those things that infects virus" to my computer. As you can see, I conduct lecture and demonstrations and I have a lot of presentations for safety training. Some of these presentations I share with the participants and often they ask for it to be save in their flash disk. Often times, they contain viruses. So my computer antivirus usually engages and removes them.happy [jpso138]
A very wise computer I can say.happy [balasri]
Mine would say something like, "Hey! I am old! Do you think maybe you can give me a break once in a while? I mean, everytime I turn around, you are poking at me with those nails and staring at me when I get slow like it's my problem...and why do you have all this music in me that you don't even listen to? You have like three remixes to each song for no good reason at all. Why did you let your nephew come in and spill juice in my keyboard and instead of replacing it with a black one, you bought a white one..now, I am old, don't match, and the speakers you attached to me are totally too loud..I should leave! If I had legs, I would sneak out while you were sleeping!!" [ScarletAlston]
Are you going to nail it or rope it to the table?lol [balasri]
I think it would tell me to go away and get a life. LOL [BlueSteel]
That is what everyone tells.lol [balasri]
I think it will tell me about my dear friends here on mylot and I may be able to listen to their words, which they write in their discussions. [dpk262006]
My computer would tell me to turn it off and go get a life! I spend far too much time sitting here surfing the net when there are books to read, gardening to do, and interesting things to be involved with. I'm disgusted with myself for wasting so much time! [guybrush]
Were you waiting for your computer to say so pal?lol [balasri]
To be frank most of them get mad because people are their who gets mad when their computer doesn't work any more but they don't have patience anyhow they need to have patience to control their mind. [Dasari100]
I think that I am a very patient man. [balasri]
After the hours of work fidiling around with it and trying to get it to work and kicking it and poking it with screw drivers if i could speak it probs tell me to go do one! [oliv897]
I don't think that you can expect anything less than that.lol [balasri]
'I need a break'! is what my computer is going to tell me. I use it for almost everything I can think of! And when I am done (and most often even before I am), my son or husband needs it. My computer is over worked and I guess I should be getting it a gift on 'Computer Day' just to show my appreciation!(even though my keyboard and mouse decide to give up on me when I need them the most) [SViswan]
When they become to the level of talking I think they will understand how indispensable they are in every sphere of work and put up with our torture.lol [balasri]
Speak with a mind or without a mind? I think my computer still can speak but it doensn't have mind inside it so, it can't be scary. If it would create an artificial mind then it could be a problem. It will definitely stop me from watching movies and work more on mylot! LOL [sanuanu]
It'll tell me to get a life. lol! I'm in front of the computer almost all the time. I'm addicted to it :)) [caffeinedrunk]
Welcome to the club my friend.lol [balasri]
Get your hand off me and stop eating and drinking right in front of me that make me feel hungry too. [lynnchua]
Why don't you try feeding it a little in that case Lynnchua.lol [balasri]
if my computer suddenly got the ability to speak, it would probably sing me a Croatian folkslong. LOL I've downloaded enough of those into this computer that it probably will know the words to them off by heart, without even thinking about the original program files. LOL [danishcanadian]
You seem to have a great vibe with your computer to say that it would also like those Croatian folk songs.My computer has a different taste and it stealthily erases the songs I download which it doesn't like.lol [balasri]