Since I have joined mylot I have been spending a great amount of time on my PC. The other day my BF said "Just what is so interesting on that computer lately?" I replied "I'm making money" (I didn't tell him how much because I know he would say it isn't worth it for all the time I spend on here but I don't think he would understand if I told him that really it's just an interesting site for me And that it's really not about the money!) he said "yeh right" so i told him to come see what I was doing. He never did, and even if he did I don't think he would be interested in this site. We are both laid off right now so we are home together alot. I have tried cutting back on my computer usage because it is starting to put a strain on our relationship. So right now it's 5:30 am and he is still asleep. I got up early to get on here so when he gets up I can spend time with him. Has anyone else gone through something similar to this?
[question posted by sjohnson628]
responses and comments:
I can understand your boyfriend even though I spend most of my time on my pc. However, I am married and I stay at home all day so I have lots of time to spare. When my husband returns home from work, he likes to watch sport on tv. I detest sport so he is happy that I have something to keep me occupied. I think you will just have to work out a timetable and set aside a certain amount of time for your pc. Your relationship is more important than your pc. [Alexandria37]
Yes our relationship is more important! Now when he goes back to work it will be much easier for me LOL. Good idea about the timetable. thanks alexandria! [sjohnson628]
It is very considerate of you to be on the computer whilst he is asleep so that you spend more time with him in his woken hours. You should not feel guilty about being on the computer but try to encourage him in joining you and taking it in shifts to increase your earnings. [deeeky]
Now that's a good idea I will try to encourage him and boost my earnings! ;) [sjohnson628]
I have been accused of liking the computer better than my boyfriend but he is just joking around with me. Even when I am on the computer I can be close to him. He likes to watch tv and his chair is about two feet from mine, so we talk all the time. He especially likes to talk when I am typing.lol [brendalee]
hehehe! thanks brenda lee! [sjohnson628]
Hi, it seems men are always suspicious of what we girls are doing on the computer. They always seem to suspect we are chatting with hot guys. Your boyfriend might be thinking that is what you are doing. Maybe that is why he said "Yeah, right..." when you told him you were making money. I "live" on the net and any male friend I ever had always asked if I was ONE: watching adult stuff or TWO: chatting with sexy men on the net. Your boyfriend is threatened by your reaching out. Is he the controlling type? [carolmil123]
Hmmmm. yes maybe that is a side of him I have not recognized yet. I'm thinking he could possibly be the controling type now that you mentioned it or possibly jealous? He could be thinking that I am chatting with hot guys being as all the typing I'm doing! LOL! Thanks carolmil and welcome to mylot! [sjohnson628]
When my boyfriend saw me typing instead of just browsing he automatically wanted to know what I was doing. When I told him I was chatting on a forum and got paid per post he just sort of rolled his eyes and said "whatever." I'm going to wait until I get my first payout and then show him, he'll change his tune after that and want me on here all the time. It mainly annoys him when I'm on here because we only have one computer and he wants to play poker when he's home. [mbizmom]
Yes I'm sure mine will change his tune when he sees my first payout aslso LOL! Thanks mbizmom! [sjohnson628]
When I first got the i=nternet (1991) my wife wasn't pleased with the time after work I soent here. I wouldn't go to bed with her when she did. She was always worried I was up to no good. Then she sat with me one day seeing the rooms I chatted in & said, "That's cool." After that she got into the internet also. Even to this day she tries to get on aonce in awhiler. She does contests, sweepstakes, and freebies online. Now she knows I'm here a lot. It didn't really strain our relationship we feel. But she doesn't like it when I say, "I'm going to Milwaukee (9hiour trip) to meet a friend friom the BillW chat room. Well I wish you the best with your boyfreind. I'm sure in time he'll understand. He may even get a chance to log on and play POKER. HahAHa! HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !! [webeishere]
Good point at least I'm home right? LOL! Thanks Grandpa Bob! [sjohnson628]
My wife said that i spent almost all the day in front of the computer. She said that i almost ignore her. [wilsonshi]
utoh! Now thats not good! Try to pay a little more attention to her (just a little) :) Thanks wilsonshi! [sjohnson628]
thats a nice idea. and yea someone said you encourage him to do shiftings! thats a nice idea too! But otherwise, just dont get the mylot or the pc takeover too much?! hehehe [jvego7426]
LOL! That's why I get up like 3 hours earlier than him now! Thanks jvego! [sjohnson628]
That's happened to me before. You just really have to compromise and work on the relationship and work on what the other says is the problem. It's nice to see that you are trying to make it work though, even if the small sacrifice of waking up early is required. [highflyingxangel]
Thanks highflyingxangel! [sjohnson628]
Trust me, I really really really know how you feel. [Artsimba]
been there huh? Thanks artsimba! [sjohnson628]
LOL, my hubby says the same thing. He usually follows with the question "have you been paid yet?" It really is nice to be able to tell him "YES, As a matter of fact, I have!" I get the biggest kick out of showing him the checks, paypal & stormpay deposits, and lets not forget all the gift certificates! ;D With both of you laid off, I'm sure it must be difficult, even without your interest in the pc. I think you're doing the best thing by spending as much time as possible with him while he's awake. I know I get alot done while hubby's sleeping too. :) [paidreader]
Yes it is difficult with both of us home. Thanks paidreader! [sjohnson628]
you should add him as a referal [Slashher]
When I finally get him hooked I will LOL! Thanks slashher! [sjohnson628]
Well if my husdand was home all day with me I would be crazy and so we he......There is no way that would work at my house....I do stay off the computer when my hubby is home, but I am on it all day,,,,,So I can understand. I try to make money, homeschool my kids and find time to clean the house...There is not a lot of time in the day.... [happymomof2]
I hate to say this but yes it will be much easier when he goes back to work. I work 2pm-10pm when my work picks back up! Thanks happymomof2! [sjohnson628]
This sounds familiar, but I guess I have gotten over it. A relationships is very important, but so is our persona; satisfaction. I guess the key is to keep the right balance, and I am sure if we think and act, it is not impossible to maintain that balance. [ashjoe76]
You're right that is the key! BALANCE! Thanks ashjoe! [sjohnson628]
I make sure I'm off by the time my husband comes home because it seems rude to me to take time away from him to be doing anything online. Unless, there's something pressing that I have to do right that minute. I'm online a lot during the day, then again when everyone is in bed I know I'm online too much. It's my only social outlet when home with the kids and if it weren't for the internet I'd be lonely and depressed! Seriously. I'm trying to cut back on some of my computer time though because I feel like I'm not doing enough with the kids. We homeschool, so when I'm not online I'm doing that and it's a great way to share one on one time with them. When I'm on the computer they're either reading books, watching tv, or playing games, but all without me... makes me feel a little guilty I guess. [wsue1023]
I agree that it is rude. He's in bed right now for the night and I just had to get online! Thanks wsue! [sjohnson628]
I had this problem with my ex. He had the audacity to tell me that I spent too much time online even though he was online all day, and I only got to go online at night when he went out to drink with his buddies. It got to the point that I was waking and getting up at 4.30am to talk to some of my friends and take my daughter to school before he got up and went online. Half the time he'd sign me out without even saying goodbye to my friends for me because he was just rude and ignorant like that. My partner now is totally different. He doesn't mind that I spend so much time online because he knows that when the kids get home from school I attend to their needs and his needs when he gets home, and then I don't come back online till the kids are ready for bed. he also knows that I make sure all the household chores are done too. If my ex had been a little more understanding, and much less abusive, our relationship MIGHT have lasted just a little bit longer. [retardedrugrat]
I'm glad you have found a better partner. That's great that you have a good schedule time for going online! Thanks retardedrugrat! [sjohnson628]
ive had this same debate with my husband and he just doesnt get it. So ive had to resort to early mornings and late at nights too lol nm its still great fun [ESKARENA1]
LOL guess that's the plan for me for now too. When he sleeps I'l go online! I had to take a nap today to recharge for tonight! LOL! [sjohnson628]
I understand completely with his position and many many members will too ....So many of us know we spending to much time here and as well as that after a few hours you are exhausted ,tired ,probably bored ,and frustrated so that is not a nice mate to hook up with ...is it Why because we are addicted and its not easy to get rid of the monkey of being active here .....Which means more to you him or mylot and make your decision ...a further surprise to me is you only have 228 credits so what will he do if you spend so much time here to get credits in the thousands ....by the way my guess is that 228 is worth about 5 dollars at the most ...is it worth it Happy Trails [maddy37]
He means more to me than mylot. And yes I only have 228 credits (but jeez it took me a few weeks now to accumulate that lol)...besides the fact that we are both laid off. So things will be easier I guess when he's back to work full time and I have the days to myself again (because I work evenings when my work picks back up) I'm not trying to get rich here its just mainly a social outlet for me...but i know what your saying it will be much more time spent in mylot when I reach the thousands! Thanks maddy! ;) [sjohnson628]
The fact that using this site is a social activity can't be denied, it seems more important to me that you have fun on the site than earn money. You're clearly committed to your relationship if you're prepared to get up early so that you get your computer usage over with in time to spend time with your boyfriend so I don't think it should be any further strain on your relationship. [MarkyB21]
Thanks marky:) [sjohnson628]
I have a similar situation with my husband. He says I spend too much time on the computer, and wants to know what I am doing. When I try to explain he also says it's not worth it. I ask him what he would rather me do, to which I don't receive a reply. [jennybianca]
I know I have tried to explain this site to my BF also he just doesnt get it YET! Thanks jennybianca! [sjohnson628]
LOL I got yelled at the other day for "hogging" the laptop. My husband was asking me what I was doing and I said I was in mylot trying to earn some dollars. He just rolled his eyes and said "whatever." He wanted to use the laptop but I only just got on and I told him give me 30 minutes and then it will be yours. Of course he got annoyed when I said that. He accused me of being on it all day and i told him I was at the gym in the morning, came home and cleaned the house and this was the first time I had a chance to use it. The very next day he came home with another laptop and wireless adaptor, so now we have two (haha) and I can use this one whenever I want :) [maddysmommy]
LOL thats great! I'm happy for you I think maybe I should invest in one and let my BF have the desktop! Thanks maddysmommy! [sjohnson628]
If you thinks that he do not like you to spend time on your computer then you first spend some time with him and again if he think so take him with you on your computer and spend as much time as you and your boyfriend want. [abhi_avi]
thanks for your comment abhi_avi! :) [sjohnson628]
My husband usually doesnt mind me being online.He knows tha I do my hoousework and tend to the kids needs.We have 2 laptops now though so it makes it easier if he needs to be online as well if I need to get online for a little bit.I do not work I am pretty much a stay at home mom right now.And I pretty much get bored or depressed if I dont feel I am treating myself to some time.We only have one car to so when my husabnd is at work I have no way to go any where until he gets home.I feel sometimes bad that maybe I spend to much time online and not enough time with my kids.I do Play with them and read them stories and stuff though.But it is good to have a schedule.I usually set aside time for my houswork and try to spend more time with my kids than the computer as well as spending time with my husband. [Carrie26]
Yes that's what I need to do is get on a schedule! Thanks carrie! [sjohnson628]
My husband once complained also of me spending too much time on the computer. I once showed him some of my earnings in other programs and he got shocked because he thought that I was just surfing the net without any cause. Now, he wants to learn what I am doing and wants to earn too. Maybe when your earnings became that high also you can show it to him to show him that all these that you're doing are not non-sense. [domesticengineer]
Yes that is a good idea just WHEN that happens! LOL! [sjohnson628]
My husband gets mad at me for being on here to much he keeps coming back and spying on me to see what I am writing and he asks every 10 minutes how much have you made now it gets really annoying. [kathyj]
LOL! Thanks kathyj! [sjohnson628]
This situation seems to be an opposite between me and my boyfriend.At first, he is the one who used to spend lots of time on the computer playing computer and online games.I have an arguement with him.Then he cut down the time on his online game. Now, is my turn to spend time on the computer.But, luckly he understand that i am making money through mylot.com.Of course i will only spend an hour here whenever i am free. This doesn't really affected our relationship.By the way, he is now asking me to play the online game together with him so we both can spend more time together whether in real life or in the internet world. [coffebing]
That's good! thanks coffebing! [sjohnson628]
nope,,,i haven;t gone sometning like this coz i only standy at mylot when my boss is not around and during break time but in our house i never did coz i don't have computer,,,hehehe,,, [aby1villamor]
LOL! thanks aby! [sjohnson628]
well you need to make your boyfriend understand have patience i to have gone through this [kalpeshmaniarin]
thanks kalpeshmaniarin! [sjohnson628]
I think you just have to budget your time. You are right in what you are doing now that you avoid spending time with computer when he is around in that way he would not feel left out. I never had this experience because i do my internet when i have a break in our office. It is just a matter of proper handling of your time. Keep it up girl. [ireneortiz]
Thanks irenortiz! [sjohnson628]
yas somhow managing with your hard work schedule you may be bit busy but see fi you wanna to smoothen ur family then u have to give a time to your BF if it's for FANTA u are loving him that that is not a proble. TTry to hold u boyfriend on your am and say deal I love your morthen the distance between me and the milkyways. [regmike]
;) thanks regmike! [sjohnson628]
Maybe you could spend some time doing something inexpensive together. Maybe go to museums or parks. The computer does become very addictive but it's not worth losing a relationship over. Then you'd just be on here all the time browsing the singles network. Perhaps you should get your priorities in order and maybe you prefer the company of the website more than his. Yours to decide. [cherilynn]
no i have not gone throughthis experience but it is very difficult for anyone to choose from the two things. but i advice you spend more time with your boyfriend. he is more important for than this site. [sandeep_2991984]
thanks sandeep! [sjohnson628]
No I haven't gone through that, but I don't spend that much time on the computer. Its sounds like to me that he is not so much interested in what you think is so important on the computer as why you would rather do that than spend time with him. And since you both have extra time on your hands, it is magnified even more. [cayennepepper]
You'll get things back to normal and then each of you will have your own "my time" back again. Don't worry about it. Have a good day. [cayennepepper]
He thinks that your PC is more imp for you than him. Make him feel that he is very imp for you and you can do anything for him. Tell him how much you love him and hug him. this will do magic sweety. You can wrk on your PC when he is not around. Dont worry, everything will be fine between you guys, wil pray for you. Kind Regards, Vikas Solanki, INDIA [rokrohan]
thanks for your comment and you prayers! [sjohnson628]
sjohnson my story is even better because of the time i was spending on the computer my hubby thought that i must of course be having an affair and he wanted to know when i was going to leave him . bloody jealous men .so now i only use the computer when he is not here and then i only use it for couple of hours when he is here .Hell one man in my life is more than enough for me most days why the hell would i want another one [_hope_]
one man is enough for me too LOL! thanks hope! [sjohnson628]
Hi sjohnson, you're not alone in facing this situation. My first week at mylot was really a mess. I forsake all my works around the house and can't stop typing one discussion after another. I just realized that I have to set up a specific schedule each day to ensure that I'm not left far behind my work. Mylot is really addicting and I can't blame you. Try to sneak in at mylot for a few hours when you're BF is not there. All the best. [charms88]
LOL! thanks charms! [sjohnson628]
ya this situtation is seen in my freind's case a lot....she is a computer freek but her boy freind does not encourage her.........to do anything [bharathi43]
I have that problem in my house, but the roles are reversed, I cant seem to get my boyfriend away from the computer, though hes not usually on mylot, as he hasnt learned about the site yet, but he plays alot of pc games and I need suggestions as to how to cope with the situation. its not too bad if i tell him to get off the computer he will, but i know its only because i said so and he doesnt want me in a bad mood. Is it too much to expect him to want to get off the computer because he would rather spend time with me? [MissBrittBC]
hmmm good topic for you for a discussion maybe? thanks MissBritt! [sjohnson628]
sjohnson well my story is a little more entailled than yours .My hubby thinks i`m having an affair and wants to know when i`m going to leave him because of the time i spend on the computer .So now i only use it when he is not here it just saves having an arguement .WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT ANOTHER MAN IN MY LIFE MOST OF THE TIME THIS ONE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER ONE FOR ME [_hope_]
i'm a computer programmer and i spend more than 12 hours a day in front of the monitor. my boyfriend understands that it's my job. maybe it's a good idea to let him in on mylot so he could understand how fun it is to be here! [mssawyer]
thanks mssawyer! [sjohnson628]
my boyfriend is jealous for my time on the computer yet he does the same so we are more or less on equal footing. I think you are handling the situation well, the few pennies you get from mylot is not worth a relationship going bad. [winterose]
exactly! thanks winterose! [sjohnson628]
You should give him some time so that he doesn't miss you.I know mylot is very addictive,but then some things are even more important than mylot.You shouldn't forget this fact.If you really love him make him feel that you are always there with him and if he doesn't understand that that means his love towards you is not true(may be). [amey_dev143]
Yeah i agree with you. Since i joint mylot, i have been spending way too much time on discussions and helping each other on mylot. Mylot is really an addicting site. Isnt it ? But i suppose that your own life is much more important than mylot. Relationship is much more important. Mylot should be actually used when you get free time. U need to engage in your true life to become someone great in the future. PEACE:) [subspeed]
Yes it is addicting! thanks subspeed! [sjohnson628]
We should be careful to give time to our beloved ones. I think making money without having anyone to love us is quite disgusting. So do take care. [gloria777]
very true! thanks gloria! [sjohnson628]
i am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend right now. i always try to spend hours with my boyfriend online everyday. seeing to it that i am giving him enough attention that he deserves. and i am glad that he is happy. i have told him about mylot and he did join as well. he's not as active as me, but he tries to log in once in awhile and respond to some discussions. and i am glad he understands me. but sometime in july or august, i will already be in sweden with him. and i will try to cut down some hours from mylot so i can spend real time with my boyfriend. [maryannemax]
That's great that you will be in sweden with him soon! Long distance is hard. The relationchip I am in now started long distance. But we couldn't live withuot eacho other and I moved here to be with him. Thanks maryanne! [sjohnson628]
WARNING! I lost one wife because of the computer....even though indirectly...it still had to do with spending to much time on the computer and not enough with her. I am doing the same to my second wife. I can't seem to help it and you know just what I meen. Have a talk with him now. Make sure he really does understand and is okay with it. You will not be happy with the result if he is not. [jbrooks0127]
Thanks for the warning because I just did a reality check. Thanks jbrooks! [sjohnson628]